Life Is Pure Adventure

12:46 am

Here's a link to the journal I use ALL the time.
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Dreamgrl120


And by the way...
that entry in June about someone I liked. Well, he im-ed me out of the blue a couple of days ago. I found out he actually likes me. Go figure! He didn't want to tell me, though, since he is a marine and still has a year and 9 months. That sux! But to know someone amazing that I liked...actually likes me too, well, that is just amazing!

Current Mood: I'm always relaxed being home!

11:09 pm

01:47 am - Decided

I have decided that the day before he leaves I will tell him that I really like him because then in that case I don't have to worry about him being home and avoiding me because he's freaked out by what I tell him. That way I don't have to feel as bad as I would knowing he's home and avoiding me. Sigh...I wish you felt the way I did. I wish it were you who calls my phone every day.

Current Mood: sad

01:03 am - Just for everyone's info...

So...no one ever ever reads my live journal. That means I can be utterly honest and just lay out all the shit I have on my chest right now.

What can one girl do when her heart aches to be held close to someone again? What does one do when they want someone who doesn't even notice them? How do you tell someone you like them more than they could ever fathom? How do you tell someone that you hate that they have to leave in less than 2 weeks possibly? How do you tell them that the idea they could be going to Iraq brings you to tears? How do you get someone to like you as much as you like them? How do you get your answers to your questions? Who can solve your problems?

No one but you...that's who.

But I can't tell him. I can't tell him that the first time he came to my house I couldn't catch my breathe. I can't tell him that the moment I heard his voice I got shivers down my spine and a smile finally formed on my face. I can't tell him how happy being with him makes me, how I would give anything to be a fly on his wall and just be near him. I can't tell him that I want to be that girl that he looks at, smiles to himself, and then says " That's her" to his friends. I want to be his. Only his. Should I feel this strongly for someone I know barely anything about except for that we went to grade school together 6 years ago and that he's a marine now. I don't know...all I know is once again I am head over heels for someone who barely sees me as anything but some girl he knows.

I just want to be someone's somebody. I want to be someone's reason for waking up in the morning. I want to be the first thing someone thinks about when they wake up and the last thing they think about before they go to sleep. But I want to be his somebody. I want to be that girl that makes him happy. I want to hold his hand and kiss him. But that's ridiculous anyways cuz he leaves in 2 weeks and he's still got 2 years left. But why would God put him in my life out of no where? Why would things have happened the way they did? Why? I'm just head over heels for someone who doesn't notice.

01:02 am - Felt the need to add this

10:05 pm - Finally I return

So what can I say. I have severely negelected my livejournal.com. It's damn hard trying to keep track of two journals. My other one is on Xanga.com under Dreamgrl120 also. Hmmm not much went on today. Book club..woo. Talked to Mr. Payne for about 10 minutes and ditched out of BC for a little. Erik called me. I suppose I am still addicted if that's the correct word to actually use. He invited me to go for a bike ride...called him after work. Guess what...the usual happened. He backed out, saying that the bike ride wasn't happening and then told me he was going out with Knufe and Chris. Fucking figures. He wouldn't hang out with me unless it was the end of the world...but of course he'd hang out with those two. I can't figure him out...he acts mature but then hangs out with those two. No need to talk about their maturity level(however don't think it means I don't like them---I just get annoyed.) Well I am out..bye!!

Current Mood: exhausted

12:03 pm - Garage Sales

So alas my dear friends who don't know I have this here journal, I am sitting inside for what few minutes I have before I will resume my position of sitting outside freezing my ass off watching morons look through crap that actual is good crap and decide they don't want it. Do you know what I find quite peculiar?? Probably not considering it is my mind we are talking about here. Anywho I find it extremely strange and bewildering how the people who have very good shit that is undamaged, clean, and basically new don't do as well as the people who have used clothing and ugly ass shoes. Someone I beg you to explain this to me for I am utterly bewildered by this fact. Good news, though, we've managed to pay for at least our 2 dozen donuts and 5 coffees from Starbucks finally after 3 hours...pathetic really.
On a completely different road of my life...Kevin is unfortunately out of town all weekend at a tournament. Sigh...I shall miss him utterly. I really am not quite sure why, perhaps it is the fact that I will not be able to talk to him as much, but we don't even do that now. Which is another thing that bothers me...I want to talk to him but I am never quite sure what I want to say with out being embarrassed that I sound like a dork...too late I am already a dork. All I know is that I am quite happy when I am with him. There is hardly any better feeling than being with him well except for laughing with saranwrap and claire and kate and my parents and occasionally pat, sara, and michelle. Well that's all for now. I shall try to come on maybe with some insightful ditty on how ridiculous garage sales are and how I believe that a law should be made outlawing them! That was redundant.

Love,
*~*Michelle*~*